After a couple of weeks of soul searching I have finally decided to break cover and offer my thoughts on what's been occurring.
It has been a really difficult time for Rugby League, Catalans Dragons and on a smaller scale this website.
John and I have always been proud to be an outpost of Catalan fans in the UK and with the creation of the UK Supporters Club last year things were starting to build and grow organically.
Of course we wanted me people to read the site and more people to show an interest. Not like this though.
In the days after Israel Folau signed for the club we were fielding media requests and seeing site traffic the likes of which dwarfed the days after our Challenge Cup Final win.
The Press Association spoke to me and I found myself like a Premiership footballer trying to answer questions by not answering questions.
With hindsight, the postponement at Wakefield was probably a good thing for Dragons with time to process the anger directed at them.
Everyone's favourite second team is now the one all love to hate. That is going to take some getting used to for us.
Incredibly though some of the headlines have moved off Folau and onto Anthony Gelling, such is the way the media works.
But with the potential for the Aussie to debut at the weekend, all eyes with be on Stade Gilbert Brutus tomorrow.
Where am I at with it now?
I fundamentally disagree with the signing and I think that Steve McNamara has made a terrible decision. But regular readers will know that I have not wanted him coaching my team since day one.
If not even a trophy can change my view, this certainly won't.
I am not going to lie, I did spent time googling which Super League club is closest to South Lincolnshire and offered the family the option to change teams. Something that is alien to me as I am of the camp that says you pick a team you stick with it.
But after seeing that its almost equidistant from our house to Hull FC, Castleford, Wakefield and London I think I am going to stick with Dragons but at a distance.
Once Folau is gone and once McNamara is gone then I hope my passion returns. For now though the behaviour of some in the corridors of power at the Dragons has pissed me off to the extent I now longer look forward to matches and no longer anticipate trips to see my team play.
O'Neills have already made their feelings known on the matter, but its worth reiterating that any merchandise I was planning to buy for my family this season wont be happening and the money donated to our charity of choice.
However, amongst all of this, a season is taking place.
We (and I still just about use that word to describe the Dragons) play Castleford at home tomorrow and here is the squad.
The squad
2. Lewis TIERNEY
3. Samisoni LANGI
4. Israel FOLAU
5. Fouad YAHA
6. James MALONEY
7. Josh DRINKWATER
8. Rémi CASTY
9. Micky McILORUM
11. Matt WHITLEY
12. Joel TOMKINS
13. Benjamin GARCIA
14. Julian BOUSQUET
17. Benjamin JULLIEN
20. Lucas ALBERT
21. Paul SEGUIER
22. Arthur ROMANO
23. Antoni MARIA
24. Jason BAITIERI.
27. Gavin MARGUERITE
28. Sam KASIANO
29. Sam TOMKINS
It has been a really difficult time for Rugby League, Catalans Dragons and on a smaller scale this website.
John and I have always been proud to be an outpost of Catalan fans in the UK and with the creation of the UK Supporters Club last year things were starting to build and grow organically.
Of course we wanted me people to read the site and more people to show an interest. Not like this though.
In the days after Israel Folau signed for the club we were fielding media requests and seeing site traffic the likes of which dwarfed the days after our Challenge Cup Final win.
The Press Association spoke to me and I found myself like a Premiership footballer trying to answer questions by not answering questions.
With hindsight, the postponement at Wakefield was probably a good thing for Dragons with time to process the anger directed at them.
Everyone's favourite second team is now the one all love to hate. That is going to take some getting used to for us.
Incredibly though some of the headlines have moved off Folau and onto Anthony Gelling, such is the way the media works.
But with the potential for the Aussie to debut at the weekend, all eyes with be on Stade Gilbert Brutus tomorrow.
Where am I at with it now?
I fundamentally disagree with the signing and I think that Steve McNamara has made a terrible decision. But regular readers will know that I have not wanted him coaching my team since day one.
If not even a trophy can change my view, this certainly won't.
I am not going to lie, I did spent time googling which Super League club is closest to South Lincolnshire and offered the family the option to change teams. Something that is alien to me as I am of the camp that says you pick a team you stick with it.
But after seeing that its almost equidistant from our house to Hull FC, Castleford, Wakefield and London I think I am going to stick with Dragons but at a distance.
Once Folau is gone and once McNamara is gone then I hope my passion returns. For now though the behaviour of some in the corridors of power at the Dragons has pissed me off to the extent I now longer look forward to matches and no longer anticipate trips to see my team play.
O'Neills have already made their feelings known on the matter, but its worth reiterating that any merchandise I was planning to buy for my family this season wont be happening and the money donated to our charity of choice.
However, amongst all of this, a season is taking place.
We (and I still just about use that word to describe the Dragons) play Castleford at home tomorrow and here is the squad.
The squad
2. Lewis TIERNEY
3. Samisoni LANGI
4. Israel FOLAU
5. Fouad YAHA
6. James MALONEY
7. Josh DRINKWATER
8. Rémi CASTY
9. Micky McILORUM
11. Matt WHITLEY
12. Joel TOMKINS
13. Benjamin GARCIA
14. Julian BOUSQUET
17. Benjamin JULLIEN
20. Lucas ALBERT
21. Paul SEGUIER
22. Arthur ROMANO
23. Antoni MARIA
24. Jason BAITIERI.
27. Gavin MARGUERITE
28. Sam KASIANO
29. Sam TOMKINS